I SURVIVED #2

Marriage the formal union of a man and a woman, typically recognized by law, by which they become husband and wife.

I Survived My Marriage.

I was married for about 6.5 years to a woman who I met over the internet around 1999. We dated for 2 years and was married in 2001. She was about 4 years younger than me at the time. Looking back on it now I should have seen the red flags and the warning signs. But I thought I was in love and I thought she was too. I regret the fact that we got married and we were both unemployed even though I was on unemployment at the time due to being laid off from a job. I wanted to push back the wedding to a later date but she did not want to hear any of that. We did argue in the beginning before we were married but I thought after we got married it would ease off, but unfortunately now after looking back it never did it only got worse. She suffered from "I do"-itits which in case you did not know what it is its when an engaged woman sees only the ring on her finger and then when she gets it and then gets married her true colors come out. Which in my case they did within the first year of us being married. After a couple of years and a few jobs later I finally got a stable job and so did she. I got promoted at my job I had at the time and she was in the process of being promoted too. The money were both were bringing in should of been enough to get by and we could live decently in my eyes since I am a simple person, but she did not see it that way however. Once the money came in she changed and she was not doing her "wifely" duties. I was working overnights and was having to take of the house and the pets and there were days should would not let me sleep even though she was off the day before and just did not do anything. She would cook for herself and leave me the mess to clean up and I was taking care of her cat which was indoors. We began to argue over little things and some big things mainly the fact that she could not get pregnant due to endometrosis except she wanted to blame me for her not getting pregnant. Even though our sex life went straight into the toilet. I quit wanting it after she made it feel like a chore or something I just had to do. I felt like I had enough chores to do and plus by this time in our marriage I was thankful that we could NOT have kids. That would of honestly been alot more work for me to do. With my marriage slowly sinking even though we were making peace efforts and her parents were trying to tell her that she needed to act differently but she did not listen. I did not want to go to counseling I honestly thought that maybe after awhile she would get the point but then her mom died of cancer and that sent our marriage further down the toilet. The arguing got worse, to the point where the verbal assaults were about to become physical assaults and she liked to make situations worse by wanting to egg me on to do something. Plus her leaving 5 times and throwing her wedding rings at me were not adding to the powder keg that was developing inside. Plus my job was not helping but that is another topic, both were basically tearing me apart inside. Plus my family was not being supportive either. So after alot of arguing in 2007 and a big blowup in 2008 I ended my marriage with her. I was tired of trying to fix the titanic and getting ZERO in return for my efforts. It had gotten to the point of either jail, grave, or divorce.

I learned alot from being married. And after what is about to be 6 years of being divorced I have grown to enjoy what little silence I have. She has since gotten remarried and I am not ill towards her and I have let that part of my life go. I have spent the past 6 years trying to get my life in order. She deserved to be happy it just was not with me. I also hope that she has matured by now and that the new husband is being treated a hell of alot better than I got treated. My marriage and the job I had at the time is the reason that I am on blood pressure pills and alot of other things that is wrong with me now. You do not know what it is like being told by a doctor that your blood pressure and your stress level is going to either give you a stroke or an early grave.

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