Part Two of My Story:
So 5 years has passed and its now 2004. I am still debating my faith in the "Christian God". I have totally turned my back on my church attendance. I have not opened my Bible since my mom "violated" my space and all of my Christian music is in a Cd case not seeing the light of day again. My girlfriend from 1999 had shaken my confidence in finding another Christian girl. Visiting other churches no longer felt right. I had lost my spiritual home due to a relationship failing and seeing "Christian bigotry". But what put the nail in the proverbial coffin was the sudden and unexpected passing of my Grandfather due to Cancer. I was in shock and angry. I was angry at the doctors for not doing more and I was more mad at "God" because my Grandfather was very loyal to his faith. As I said before he was an elder and a Bible scholar and taught Bible study. Yes I know the whole "God called him home" theory, but what totally drove me away was the whole God is not supposed to let his beloved followers suffer and my Grandfather was loyal and he basically fucking suffered even though it was a very quick spreading cancer, I felt God betrayed him. So I walked away from being religious and no longer believing in the "Christian God". I returned to my Gothic roots. I went back to listening to Gothic music. I went back to my dark lonely ways. Its been now 10 years since I made this decision, and I have had no regrets about it. Yes I have to lie to people about my beliefs and yes I have to tolerate my family especially my parents since they have returned to being full time Bible thumpers. And thanks to Dish Network I have to tolerate at least 5 channels of religious crap and upset my mom when I get tired of watching it and leave. I can only tolerate so much of John Hague (spelling), Jewish Jesus, and the like. And in my line of work it is funny to me how they act in public fussing about how if you bring a huge group in that we have to charge a 15% gratuity, and only leave the server a $2-$4 tip and leave little books saying "God loves you", but he gets 10% before anybody else. Or worse you are a minister or a minister's wife and you act a fool because you don't get treated a certain way. I never understand why Christian people feel so damn oppressed. And why Christians don't walk away from ministers like Jimmy Swagger, the Bakers, or when you all find out what the founder of TBN has truly been doing with all of your donations. John Hague makes me mad for claiming that Atheists should just pack up and move away from America, and either a Senator or minister wants Satanists shot.
But that is the world we live in.
And this the end of my story of walking away from Christianity and being deconverted.
*Comment, like, or follow*
No comments:
Post a Comment