"11 Days"

To my readers,

It has been 11 days since I last wrote a blog. I have just been dealing with a lot as of late. I have been dealing with my demons more and more. It has been due to the actions of 2 females I used to date. And it has just made me feel so much and realize a lot. I wrote about one of them in a previous blog and yes a part me of me is still feeling the effects of her actions. The other female was not right for me at the start and I knew it, but even though I did not date her very long and I tried to remain friends with her, but like the other her actions and her receiving some very brutal honesty from some of my friends, we are no longer friends. Which is fine by me, she simply wanted the same thing the one before her did. The major thing they both have in common is they both made the same promise that they will not treat me like my other girlfriends and my ex wife did. Which was total bullshit. When I sit down and explain what I have dealt with and what hell I have walked through do not tell me a lie. I refused to date after 2008/9 and I became a recluse. I wanted the world to leave me the hell alone and I hid myself away in an emotional hole. I finally got talked out of my hole in 2015 and was told "I will not treat you like my predecessors". She knew what she was getting herself into and now it is 2016 and even though we broke up in July her actions on Labor day have made me want to go back into that hole. But I got a little brave and met "Ms. 2 Weeks" it did not take long for her true colors to come to life. I ended it with her due to her actions. Then "Ms. 2 weeks" had to show the world her "intelligence" and make a really bad post on FB that backfired on her.

Since all of this I have taken one day at time and trying to regroup as the saying goes. It has made me appreciate what true friends I do have. It has also made we want to return to my gothic roots. But I have learned a lot from all of this. And even though Karma is a slow process and I really wish I could give her a helping hand, some people I am close to advise me otherwise. But it is all good. I will rebuild my life again maybe. I say that because I have nothing to rebuild from. When you have been dealing with what I have dealt with it is hard to rebuild from ash when everyone that comes in your life destroys you completely and leaves unscathed.

And to me that is unfair to me. Karma may be slow, but receiving a "gift" of darkness from me just reminds you that she is coming....